Be Prepared for Anything

If you would have told me in September that I would be writing a pregnancy blog in April, I would have laughed.

In August, several specialists sat me down with serious, concerned expressions on their faces. Each one met in her own office, and in her own way, asked me about my family plans (as if I did not already know what they were going to say). Despite their various approaches to revealing “bad news”, the conversation always ended the same way.

“Your tumor is making it impossible for you to ovulate. Until the tumor is gone, you will not be able to have kids. This can take anywhere between 1 to 7 years, so be prepared for anything.”

“Be prepared for anything”. Huh.

Many friends and family have asked me how I reacted when I found out that I was pregnant. The answer is, not gracefully. To be honest, I am not a graceful person. Hardly anything I do is graceful so I don’t know why an unexpected positive pregnancy test would be any different. The truth is, I may have screamed. I may have said a couple of colorful words. I may have yelled so loud that my husband thought I fell in the toilet.

Who knows.

After I was calm enough to tell my husband what I had seen, (instead of me crying and shoving a positive pee stick in his face) my husband looked at me like I had just given him the world. I felt like I had just taken the world away.

Since that night, I have learned more about myself than I have ever wished to know. I’ve learned about my physical body, and how cool it is that it’s doing exactly what it needs to do to bring my daughter into the world. I’ve learned about what to eat, what not to eat, how to keep a healthy pregnancy weight, and how to exercise. I’ve learned about the limits of my body, and I’ve already stretched my emotional limits farther than I could have ever thought possible. I’ve learned how to abstain (I know, ironic–but true). I’ve learned that in order to be the best mother I can be, I’m going to have to let go of my idea of “perfection” and I’m going to have to change how I perceive myself.

I’m learning a lot. I may as well share it with you. Hopefully you will learn something too (and maybe even get a few laughs in between).

Love,

Sarah E.B. Christison

Mother-To-Be

Scared Out Of Her Mind

A Little Bit Crazy