We have a speech therapist at our school.

We have a speech therapist at our school.

He comes in from time to time to pull kids out of my room for their therapies. He’s warm and kind and always takes the time to say hello when it’s convenient. Zoe was evaluated for speech therapy recently, and sometimes, the therapist comes into my classroom or finds me in the workroom to drop off her paperwork and consent forms.

The last time I saw him, I ran into him while laminating some student work. He smiled and chatted with my while he copied papers, and asked if Zoe had gone to school before. I replied yes, and we laughed at the differences between kids schooled in Montessori method, and those schooled in more traditional methods. Then, he said something extremely perceptive that’s stuck with me ever since.

“Zoe is so interesting. She’s very engaged and focused on what she’s doing. She’s very goofy, and she’s not hard on herself.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“When she messes up, she doesn’t get upset. She says, ‘ That’s OK. I’ll get it next time,’ and tries again. She’s very persistent, but easy on herself.”

I know he didn’t realize the gravity of what he said to me, but I did. My chest gets tight when I think about my kid–MY kid–freely giving herself second and third chances, loving herself despite her mistakes, and enjoying the process of growth (things I’m still teaching myself at 27).

Here I am, beating myself up because my students and I were having an off-day during a walk-through, or because dinner didn’t taste great, or because I forgot to run the laundry…Again. I don’t know what Zoe has, but I obviously need a heavy dose of it. I know I make a lot of mistakes as a parent, but hearing other people tell me that my kid gives herself grace fills me with a rare type of joy I can’t quite describe. I was torn up during pregnancy, stressed that I would pass my anxiety and depression onto my kid, but somethings…working.

Maybe you’re overcoming addiction, or generational abuse. Maybe you’re like me and just trying to help our kids love themselves a little better than we love ourselves. I hope you know that your hard work is paying off, and I’m proud of you. I really am.